The Uptonville Disaster


 or “How Jasmine Saved the World…Again”

In April 1955, the U.S. Geological Survey detected a series of seismic events in the mid-size mining town of North Uptonville, Idaho. The town, noted for its large Gothic cathedral, was not located on any known geologic fault line, and was not near any government nuclear test facilities related to the ongoing ‘Redwing’ series of atomic tests.

Government scientific teams sent to investigate the issue found no apparent reason for the seismic events, which, when measured for their magnitude, compared favorably with the renowned “Altean Incident” of 1936, and the lesser known “Jumpster Crossroads” dilemma of 1905. Fearing for the worst, the USGS alerted the President, who signed the order to authorize the summoning of Jasmine the Cat.

Jasmine initially demanded twice the payment she’d charged three years earlier when asked to negotiate the armistice of the Korean conflict at Panmunjom. Congress balked at the outrageous demand, but an alarming increase in the magnitude and frequency of the Uptonville quakes quickly settled the issue, and she arrived in the area by mid-June. Scoffing an official welcome by the State Governor and City Mayor, Jasmine headed into the hills east of town, guided by her inner senses and was not seen for five days.

On June 21st, the first sounds of what came to be the most epic Kaiju battle in Idahoan history were heard coming from the nearby Kipper Valley, an area known for its deep cave system. In her after action debriefing, Jasmine relayed that she’d found a giant sleeping lizard-like creature that was near to awakening. Utilizing her super growth power she had learned from a Native American shaman in the U.S. southwest, she grew to an immense size, awoke the sleeping creature, and engaged in a pre-emptive battle to the death in order to spare the nation the horror of a rampaging Kaiju.

The picture shown here is the only known image of the battle, and purportedly illustrates a moment in which the giant lizard had temporarily gained the upper hand in the fight. The engagement, ultimately won by Jasmine lasted for three days, and completely destroyed the town of North Uptonville, all the mines in the area, and all roads leading into the region. The devastation was so great that the government was forced to erase the area off of all maps, and eradicate the memory of the battle, and the region from the minds of the American people through the use of chemicals released into the atmosphere in the form of jet contrails.

Jasmine, having returned to her normal, house-cat-esque size, then collected her reward and disappeared into parts unknown until called  once again when she was needed to mediate the Suez Crisis in 1956.

 

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